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We look at an anthology of anime-tinged tales from the HALO universe, with stories ranging from educational to  badass to downright silly. Don't worry, fanboys: they're probably not (all) canon. 

 

Want more Master Chief madness? Here's him "returning" a bomb to The Covenant, from the game HALO 2:

Giving the Covenant back their Bomb - Halo 2 Anniversary

 

CONTENT WARNING: interplanetary war, planned mortality for children, suicide by mech, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

This is it, listener. We might have found the single best video game movie we've ever seen or will see.

 

Join us for "Dragon Quest: Your Story", a movie that manages to both adapt a popular entry from the RPG franchise while also doing something entirely new and interesting. This movie was so surprising that I won't even fill this synopsis with snarky jokes (well... maybe in the content warning). 

 

CONTENT WARNING: interrupted inspirational speeches, unavoidable side eye, digital girlfriends, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We continue our look at franchise adaptations with "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within", a story about heroes fighting to save the planet with the power of love. It clearly has the broad strokes of the franchise in that setup, but does it remain faithful in its execution? Prepare yourself for the first (and ONLY) film by Square Pictures.

 

Here's a link to the DVD extra spoofing the music video for THRILLER:

Michael Jackson - Thriller - Final Fantasy

 

CONTENT WARNING: invisible monsters, soul stealing, workplace safety violations, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We've heard the argument that video game films are bad because "games focus on the gameplay, not on the plot". That may be true, but video games do offer the player fascinating worlds to explore. So what if you just adapt the world to a film, and not a specific game? Sounds like another tangent series to me!

 

We begin our latest journey with "The Witcher - Nightmare of the Wolf", an anime adapting the game (or the Netflix series, OR the books... yeah, we know) about magic-infused monster hunters and their time at the worst summer school ever.

 

CONTENT WARNING: extreme gore, bio-augmentation, institutionalized child murder, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

It took 30 years, but Nintendo has finally forgiven Hollywood for "Super Mario Bros: The Movie (1993)". The titular plumber is back on the silver screen, but does this Mario have what it takes? Can the character that started the video game movie curse be the one to break it once and for all? Strap on your red or green overalls, everybody, and LET'S A GO!!!

 

CONTENT WARNING: kidnapping (again), forced marriages (again... man, this seems familiar), impromptu rock ballads, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We close out our international tour with "Fatal Frame", a Japanese horror film where a group of students at a Catholic all-girls school truly are lovers in a dangerous time. 

 

CONTENT WARNING: suicide, curses, homophobia, films that distort the very fabric of time itself, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We review "Corpse Party", a Japanese horror film about love, loss, and why you should never trust your classmates when you're trying to escape a hell dimension. 

 

CONTENT WARNING: unintentionally satanic rituals, evil ghost children, possession, tongues, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

You've heard of the Lost Levels, but what about the lost movie?

 

We review "Super Mario Bros. - The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach!", a Japan only release! This early foray into film cements Mario as the trailblazer of video game film adaptations. But why wasn't it released in North America? Was it not good enough, or were we just not ready for its power? Brace yourself for a tri-force of entertainment (and no, that's not a reference to the wrong franchise)!

 

Watch the same version we watched here!

Super Mario Bros. Anime Movie Restored (VHS) · English subbed

 

CONTENT WARNING: kidnapping, forced marriages, taking shrooms, painful mispronunciations, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We get more than we bargained for when we review "Oneechanbara" (AKA "Bikini Samurai Squad"), and it's sequel "Oneechanbara: Vortex”.

 

Can scantily-clad heroines save the world from yet another undead apocalypse? Can samurai-cowgirl Aya stop her sister Saki's stupid schoolgirl schemes, from bloodthirsty rampages to skeletal resurrections? Can sequels be bothered to acknowledge ANYTHING from the previous film? It's time for a Double Dose of zombie-slaying action!

 

CONTENT WARNING: sibling rivalry, kung-fu zombies, sexy corpses, hungry swords, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.

We're going international!

 

For this tangent, we're looking at video-game-to-film adaptations made outside of North America. Does Hollywood just fail to understand the source material? Let's see if adding subtitles brings these films above subpar!

 

First up is "Yakuza: Like a Dragon", a Tokyo crime film where the one-eyed man truly is king and the scriptwriter offers too many side quests for the audience to keep track of. 

 

CONTENT WARNING: gang wars, masochists, disinterested law enforcement, bad mothering, mild language.

 

Featuring the voices of Marc Athanas, Wayne Bressette, and Nick Mohr.

 

Our theme music was composed by Jack Feerick, and performed and realized by Sam Feerick.